[LOG] It's okay with me
Oct. 16th, 2007 11:01 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ass_teaWhere: The corridor outside the Great Hall
When: Very early November, 2021 (fifth year)
"Alby! Alby, wait!"
Alby was rushing down the corridor, headed for the Great Hall and the Slytherin table - dinner had already started. Scorpius and the rest of his yearmates had gone on ahead; they'd been studying in the library and Alby had offered to put their books away, but it had taken longer than he'd thought and now he was running late. And he was hungry.
He stopped at the sound of his sister's voice, however, and turned to see her running to catch up with him, bright red hair streaming behind her like a banner.
"Lily, what is it? I really don't -"
"No," she said, so firmly that Alby blinked and stopped talking, mouth hanging slightly open and staring at his younger sister, as she caught up with him and stood, crossing her arms over her chest and suddenly looking eerily like their mother.
"No," she said again, "You're not going to run away from me. I need to talk to you now."
Alby sighed. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"
"I want to know what's wrong."
Alby blinked. "What's... wrong?" he asked, not quite sure what she meant. His mind flashed over the past few days - had he acted strangely, done something to make her think something was wrong? He couldn't think of anything, and was still drawing a blank when Lily sighed herself, as though she were very much put out and Alby was very thick.
"Yes, what's wrong. You've been acting weird since summer holidays, don't think I haven't noticed! Mum told me to look after you, but I can't do that if you're acting all funny and I don't know what's wrong!"
Alby felt suddenly awkward, and glanced around to make sure no one else was paying attention to their conversation. There were a few students in the corridor with them, but all of them were hurrying towards the Great Hall, and none of them seemed to be paying the Potter siblings any mind.
His mother had asked his little sister to look after him at school. And he was sure he knew exactly why - his behavior over the summer had certainly been slightly suspect, and he knew better than to hope that just because she hadn't brought it up again, that his mother had forgotten the conversation they'd had halfway through the summer. At least she didn't appear to have told Lily the subject of said conversation.
He was also sure that their mother had probably told Lily to be subtle - something that was often lost on his little sister, he thought with some despair. He rubbed the back of his neck and stared up at the ceiling a moment, but that didn't make the present situation any better. Lily was still standing in front of him looking determined to figure out what was "wrong", and he definitely didn't know what to tell her. "Oh, nothing, it's just that I don't know how to act around my best friend anymore because I think I want to shag him. It's nothing, Lily, tell Mum I'm fine."
He settled for the default, "Nothing's wrong, Lily. You're imagining things. I'm fine," and scowled a bit, though his scowls never really came full-force when he was facing his sister. There was just something about her that wouldn't let him scowl at her for very long. And she knew it. And used it to her advantage, more often than not.
"You're not fine, and you'd better tell me!" she insisted, like the younger sister she was. That got the attention of a few passing students, and Alby felt his cheeks begin to burn a little before he took Lily by the arm and pulled her aside, out of the path of the dwindling traffic and close to the wall, next to a particularly colorful drapery depicting some sort of long-ago battle between wizards and goblins.
"It's nothing, okay?" he said quietly, as she pouted up at him. "There's just - there's just some Slytherin stuff going on, is all," he said lamely, knowing even as he said it that she wasn't going to believe him.
The skeptical look on her face only confirmed that. "Slytherin stuff," she repeated. "Alby, there is not. Don't be thick."
"You're being thick!" he shot back, mostly out of habit, and sighed again as she made a face. "Look, Lily - it's nothing you can help with, okay? I know Mum was worried but I'm fine. Now please, please stop asking me, all right?"
Lily made a face, pursing her lips and tapping her foot a moment before she said, "James says you were asking about Hawk."
Alby paled. He'd told Lily that? But he hadn't said a word to Alby about it since - and he hadn't told their parents. Alby was reasonably sure of that, because if he had, he was sure he'd have gotten a Talk from Dad about it or something. Anything. But there had been nothing, so he could only assume that Lily was the only other person who knew.
But there was no way he could lie about it to Lily - that much was clear, from the way she was looking at him now.
"Yeah, well... I just wanted to know if he thought Hawk was all right. You know - he's a nice bloke." Oh, great - now it sounded like Alby had wanted permission to date Hawk - he went on, then, trying to correct his mistake. "Not - not that I wanted to - nevermind." He scuffed one foot along the floor. "It's nothing, okay?" Well said, blockhead.
Lily was silent a moment. This worried Alby far more than if she had said something - silence meant she was thinking, and he had no way to stop her from thinking what he knew she was thinking. He looked at her desperately, willing her to think nothing of it, but he was fairly sure Occlumency was not one of his few talents.
"I think he's all right," Lily finally said - Alby nearly moaned, she did think he wanted to ask Hawk out, and now she was going to turn around and tell everyone and everything would be ruined. He opened his mouth to contradict her - angrily, and with threats, if need be - but she went on before he could get a word out.
"I don't care if you want to date a bloke, Alby. I mean, Hawk does it and it's okay, right? But if you do, you'd better tell Mum and Dad and James so they don't keep asking me what's wrong with you. Because I can't pretend forever, okay?" And she turned and went off down the corridor again in the direction of the Great Hall, leaving Alby feeling a bit like a fish out of water.
What had just happened? It took a moment for him to realize that his little sister had just told him that she didn't mind if he was gay. And what's more, she wasn't going to tell anyone for him.
Well. Stranger things had happened. Maybe. Somewhere, at some point in history.
He walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall slowly, lost in thought. All he knew was that he couldn't hide forever - it hadn't been working, and if Lily had finally confronted him about it, that meant it was becoming obvious to other people. And that was the last thing Alby wanted to happen. But he didn't know how he was being obvious, so he didn't know how to not be obvious. Not hiding forever was one thing, but coming out in the near future was completely another. And Alby wasn't ready for that. Not at all.
The Ravenclaw table was conveniently located right next to the Slytherin table, which allowed Alby easy spying access from his seat next to Scorp - who was arguing something or other with Alex about not doing his Transfiguration essay for him - to see when Hawk entered the Great Hall.
He watched the Ravenclaw as he entered only a moment after Alby had slipped into his own seat. Hawk was surrounded by a group of girls who were all talking excitedly - and here was where the really important mental notetaking ensued. Watching the boy, he tried to determine how Hawk was acting - was it obvious he wasn't interested in dating any of the girls around him? Was there something different about the conversation, or about the way he talked to them?
Alby's eyes tracked the group as they broke up a bit to fit into the remaining seats at their table. Was Hawk sitting a little too close to the boy beside him? Was he looking at anyone in a more-than-just- friendly way? Alby stared, and stared - but he couldn't tell. Hawk was Hawk, and he was acting normal. Just... normal. Alby sighed, finally picking up his fork and knife and deciding to concentrate on eating, which was much easier than trying to observe someone for obvious signs of being gay. If there were any, Alby wasn't sure he'd catch them - but that just meant he'd have to be extra careful, in the future. No one else could catch on, because if they did, it was all over. And if Alby's life (or at the very least his relationship with any of his friends - with his best friend) was going to come to an end, he'd maybe like a little say in when and how.
When: Very early November, 2021 (fifth year)
"Alby! Alby, wait!"
Alby was rushing down the corridor, headed for the Great Hall and the Slytherin table - dinner had already started. Scorpius and the rest of his yearmates had gone on ahead; they'd been studying in the library and Alby had offered to put their books away, but it had taken longer than he'd thought and now he was running late. And he was hungry.
He stopped at the sound of his sister's voice, however, and turned to see her running to catch up with him, bright red hair streaming behind her like a banner.
"Lily, what is it? I really don't -"
"No," she said, so firmly that Alby blinked and stopped talking, mouth hanging slightly open and staring at his younger sister, as she caught up with him and stood, crossing her arms over her chest and suddenly looking eerily like their mother.
"No," she said again, "You're not going to run away from me. I need to talk to you now."
Alby sighed. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"
"I want to know what's wrong."
Alby blinked. "What's... wrong?" he asked, not quite sure what she meant. His mind flashed over the past few days - had he acted strangely, done something to make her think something was wrong? He couldn't think of anything, and was still drawing a blank when Lily sighed herself, as though she were very much put out and Alby was very thick.
"Yes, what's wrong. You've been acting weird since summer holidays, don't think I haven't noticed! Mum told me to look after you, but I can't do that if you're acting all funny and I don't know what's wrong!"
Alby felt suddenly awkward, and glanced around to make sure no one else was paying attention to their conversation. There were a few students in the corridor with them, but all of them were hurrying towards the Great Hall, and none of them seemed to be paying the Potter siblings any mind.
His mother had asked his little sister to look after him at school. And he was sure he knew exactly why - his behavior over the summer had certainly been slightly suspect, and he knew better than to hope that just because she hadn't brought it up again, that his mother had forgotten the conversation they'd had halfway through the summer. At least she didn't appear to have told Lily the subject of said conversation.
He was also sure that their mother had probably told Lily to be subtle - something that was often lost on his little sister, he thought with some despair. He rubbed the back of his neck and stared up at the ceiling a moment, but that didn't make the present situation any better. Lily was still standing in front of him looking determined to figure out what was "wrong", and he definitely didn't know what to tell her. "Oh, nothing, it's just that I don't know how to act around my best friend anymore because I think I want to shag him. It's nothing, Lily, tell Mum I'm fine."
He settled for the default, "Nothing's wrong, Lily. You're imagining things. I'm fine," and scowled a bit, though his scowls never really came full-force when he was facing his sister. There was just something about her that wouldn't let him scowl at her for very long. And she knew it. And used it to her advantage, more often than not.
"You're not fine, and you'd better tell me!" she insisted, like the younger sister she was. That got the attention of a few passing students, and Alby felt his cheeks begin to burn a little before he took Lily by the arm and pulled her aside, out of the path of the dwindling traffic and close to the wall, next to a particularly colorful drapery depicting some sort of long-ago battle between wizards and goblins.
"It's nothing, okay?" he said quietly, as she pouted up at him. "There's just - there's just some Slytherin stuff going on, is all," he said lamely, knowing even as he said it that she wasn't going to believe him.
The skeptical look on her face only confirmed that. "Slytherin stuff," she repeated. "Alby, there is not. Don't be thick."
"You're being thick!" he shot back, mostly out of habit, and sighed again as she made a face. "Look, Lily - it's nothing you can help with, okay? I know Mum was worried but I'm fine. Now please, please stop asking me, all right?"
Lily made a face, pursing her lips and tapping her foot a moment before she said, "James says you were asking about Hawk."
Alby paled. He'd told Lily that? But he hadn't said a word to Alby about it since - and he hadn't told their parents. Alby was reasonably sure of that, because if he had, he was sure he'd have gotten a Talk from Dad about it or something. Anything. But there had been nothing, so he could only assume that Lily was the only other person who knew.
But there was no way he could lie about it to Lily - that much was clear, from the way she was looking at him now.
"Yeah, well... I just wanted to know if he thought Hawk was all right. You know - he's a nice bloke." Oh, great - now it sounded like Alby had wanted permission to date Hawk - he went on, then, trying to correct his mistake. "Not - not that I wanted to - nevermind." He scuffed one foot along the floor. "It's nothing, okay?" Well said, blockhead.
Lily was silent a moment. This worried Alby far more than if she had said something - silence meant she was thinking, and he had no way to stop her from thinking what he knew she was thinking. He looked at her desperately, willing her to think nothing of it, but he was fairly sure Occlumency was not one of his few talents.
"I think he's all right," Lily finally said - Alby nearly moaned, she did think he wanted to ask Hawk out, and now she was going to turn around and tell everyone and everything would be ruined. He opened his mouth to contradict her - angrily, and with threats, if need be - but she went on before he could get a word out.
"I don't care if you want to date a bloke, Alby. I mean, Hawk does it and it's okay, right? But if you do, you'd better tell Mum and Dad and James so they don't keep asking me what's wrong with you. Because I can't pretend forever, okay?" And she turned and went off down the corridor again in the direction of the Great Hall, leaving Alby feeling a bit like a fish out of water.
What had just happened? It took a moment for him to realize that his little sister had just told him that she didn't mind if he was gay. And what's more, she wasn't going to tell anyone for him.
Well. Stranger things had happened. Maybe. Somewhere, at some point in history.
He walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall slowly, lost in thought. All he knew was that he couldn't hide forever - it hadn't been working, and if Lily had finally confronted him about it, that meant it was becoming obvious to other people. And that was the last thing Alby wanted to happen. But he didn't know how he was being obvious, so he didn't know how to not be obvious. Not hiding forever was one thing, but coming out in the near future was completely another. And Alby wasn't ready for that. Not at all.
The Ravenclaw table was conveniently located right next to the Slytherin table, which allowed Alby easy spying access from his seat next to Scorp - who was arguing something or other with Alex about not doing his Transfiguration essay for him - to see when Hawk entered the Great Hall.
He watched the Ravenclaw as he entered only a moment after Alby had slipped into his own seat. Hawk was surrounded by a group of girls who were all talking excitedly - and here was where the really important mental notetaking ensued. Watching the boy, he tried to determine how Hawk was acting - was it obvious he wasn't interested in dating any of the girls around him? Was there something different about the conversation, or about the way he talked to them?
Alby's eyes tracked the group as they broke up a bit to fit into the remaining seats at their table. Was Hawk sitting a little too close to the boy beside him? Was he looking at anyone in a more-than-just- friendly way? Alby stared, and stared - but he couldn't tell. Hawk was Hawk, and he was acting normal. Just... normal. Alby sighed, finally picking up his fork and knife and deciding to concentrate on eating, which was much easier than trying to observe someone for obvious signs of being gay. If there were any, Alby wasn't sure he'd catch them - but that just meant he'd have to be extra careful, in the future. No one else could catch on, because if they did, it was all over. And if Alby's life (or at the very least his relationship with any of his friends - with his best friend) was going to come to an end, he'd maybe like a little say in when and how.
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