[LOG] The Trial of Isabella Fielding
Oct. 16th, 2007 09:02 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ass_teaWhere: The Ancient Runes corridor, fourth floor
When: November 23, 2021 (fifth year)
"Now class, don't forget that your translations of the Elder Futhark text I assigned you are due on Thursday."
There were some mumbles of assent from the rest of the class, and Professor Fenwick clapped her hands together. "All right then, class dismissed. See you all for dinner!"
Exhausted from his long day and his stomach grumbling for food, Scorpius Malfoy folded up his Ancient Runes text and had just barely packed his ink bottle and quill in his bag and waved a quick goodbye to his dormmate, Joe Wenlock, whose innards had been groaning so loudly during class that Scorpius had thought they'd achieved the power of speech. Neatly rolling up his parchments, he stood up, turned around, and almost jumped to see \ someone standing behind him. It was one of the Ravenclaw girls in his class, a girl with dirty blonde hair and big eyes whose name was something like Isabel or Isabella. He couldn't remember.
She was standing awkwardly a little in front of the doorway, too far away from him to be intruding into his space but obviously standing close enough that she was trying to attract his attention. She was thin and very petite, not much taller than his mother and with a short, boyish cut to her hair that was parted and brushed neatly to the side, a style reminiscent of some model that he'd seen in his Muggle Studies class when they'd covered the 1960's. Scorpius stood and shouldered his bag. She still stood there in front of him, uncomfortably, looking at him with her wide, blue eyes. Scorpius wondered if she just intended to stand there staring at him or whether if he tried to make his way around her, she'd say something.
He took a step, which seemed to startle her. "Um," she said quickly, taking a step back as she realized that she may have been too forward in making a sound.
"Yeah?" Scorpius asked. He looked around. The room was emptying, his Slytherin and Ravenclaw schoolmates giving them looks as they passed, on their way out the door. Alex Moran winked and grinned, giving Scorpius his best 'go get 'er, tiger' thumbs up. Scorpius wished he could maybe kick Alex in the head and make him right again.
"Um, uh, can...can I talk to you for, um, a minute?" The girl's voice was high-pitched and childish, barely a squeak as she spoke, her hands clinging tightly to her bag that she held before her, almost as if it were a shield to hide behind.
Scorpius glanced longingly in the direction of the doorway. "Sure," he said simply, and made his way out to the corridor, relieved to find that she was following a step behind him. He'd almost been afraid that he'd needed to take her hand and lead her somewhere in order to get her to budge.
"Okay," Scorpius said, stopping at the end of the hallway, a bit of a secluded place away from the other students making their way from their classes to the Great Hall. "What did you want to talk about?"
There was a knot in the pit of stomach that told him in all likelihood what it was the Ravenclaw girl wanted with him. It was flattering in a sense, to know that after Alby had gone through a few girlfriends that he, Scorpius Malfoy, could likewise make another girl this nervous. Maybe she'd even liked him for a long time--that thought definitely pleased him, though he still couldn't shrug the fact that she was certainly not Alby Potter, which meant that no matter what a compliment it was that she liked him, Scorpius was not seriously interested in dating her.
"Um, so, uh...I'm Isabella Fielding and..."
Ah, so that was her name. Scorpius nodded slowly, waiting for her to carry on.
"...and I was wondering if..."
Scorpius raised an eyebrow and her courage seemed to diminish.
"I-I-I wanted to know if..."
"Yes?" Scorpius asked, trying to be as nice and gentle as possible, knowing that if he had to wait around all evening for her to finish her sentences he'd probably die of hunger.
Finally she took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. "I wanted to know if you wouldgooutwithme!"
Scorpius did his best to look taken aback, after all, it wouldn't do to act like he'd been expecting it, even if he had been. He wondered what it would be like dating a girl. She seemed to be the type that other boys would dub 'cute.' And being in Ravenclaw, she was certainly intelligent, if not the most confident person he'd ever seen. He stared at her lips, they were thin and small, again adding to the 'cute' effect that surrounded her. He wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms and kiss her, the same way he'd been dreaming of kissing Alby since the end of last year. Would it feel the same? Was a kiss just a kiss?
Scorpius had been of a mind to reject her, to tell her he was sorry and that it wasn't her, that he had someone else already in mind, but now that he stared at her, the way her lower lip was trembling a bit, the way her hair was so neatly brushed to the side, her eyes so wide and full of hope, maybe he would date her for a bit, just to see what girls were like, so he'd know how Alby felt every time he spent time with one or pressed one up against the walls and placed one of those strong, silent kisses on her lips.
Scorpius thought of Hawk's words of advice to him. "Move on," Hawk had said to him. "That's life." Now staring at Isabella Fielding, who was heaving small breaths, still waiting for an answer, Scorpius wondered of Hawk wasn't right after all. Alby liked girls, he'd certainly dated a couple last year, even if they had ended up disastrously. And wasn't he interested in that Libby Claysington girl? He'd certainly mentioned her on the train a couple of months ago, even if that had seemed to go nowhere. Maybe he should move on. He and Alby would just be friends, maybe that was his lot in life.
Suddenly, Scorpius wanted to take little Isabella in his arms, and just say "yes." Yes, of course, Isabella, you are cute, intelligent, and a bit boyish looking so I will go out with you. And then he'd kiss her and he would have, after a few dates, a girlfriend. Scorpius leaned forward, wanting to say those words and wrap his arms around her frail, doll-like body, but something held him back.
When: November 23, 2021 (fifth year)
"Now class, don't forget that your translations of the Elder Futhark text I assigned you are due on Thursday."
There were some mumbles of assent from the rest of the class, and Professor Fenwick clapped her hands together. "All right then, class dismissed. See you all for dinner!"
Exhausted from his long day and his stomach grumbling for food, Scorpius Malfoy folded up his Ancient Runes text and had just barely packed his ink bottle and quill in his bag and waved a quick goodbye to his dormmate, Joe Wenlock, whose innards had been groaning so loudly during class that Scorpius had thought they'd achieved the power of speech. Neatly rolling up his parchments, he stood up, turned around, and almost jumped to see \ someone standing behind him. It was one of the Ravenclaw girls in his class, a girl with dirty blonde hair and big eyes whose name was something like Isabel or Isabella. He couldn't remember.
She was standing awkwardly a little in front of the doorway, too far away from him to be intruding into his space but obviously standing close enough that she was trying to attract his attention. She was thin and very petite, not much taller than his mother and with a short, boyish cut to her hair that was parted and brushed neatly to the side, a style reminiscent of some model that he'd seen in his Muggle Studies class when they'd covered the 1960's. Scorpius stood and shouldered his bag. She still stood there in front of him, uncomfortably, looking at him with her wide, blue eyes. Scorpius wondered if she just intended to stand there staring at him or whether if he tried to make his way around her, she'd say something.
He took a step, which seemed to startle her. "Um," she said quickly, taking a step back as she realized that she may have been too forward in making a sound.
"Yeah?" Scorpius asked. He looked around. The room was emptying, his Slytherin and Ravenclaw schoolmates giving them looks as they passed, on their way out the door. Alex Moran winked and grinned, giving Scorpius his best 'go get 'er, tiger' thumbs up. Scorpius wished he could maybe kick Alex in the head and make him right again.
"Um, uh, can...can I talk to you for, um, a minute?" The girl's voice was high-pitched and childish, barely a squeak as she spoke, her hands clinging tightly to her bag that she held before her, almost as if it were a shield to hide behind.
Scorpius glanced longingly in the direction of the doorway. "Sure," he said simply, and made his way out to the corridor, relieved to find that she was following a step behind him. He'd almost been afraid that he'd needed to take her hand and lead her somewhere in order to get her to budge.
"Okay," Scorpius said, stopping at the end of the hallway, a bit of a secluded place away from the other students making their way from their classes to the Great Hall. "What did you want to talk about?"
There was a knot in the pit of stomach that told him in all likelihood what it was the Ravenclaw girl wanted with him. It was flattering in a sense, to know that after Alby had gone through a few girlfriends that he, Scorpius Malfoy, could likewise make another girl this nervous. Maybe she'd even liked him for a long time--that thought definitely pleased him, though he still couldn't shrug the fact that she was certainly not Alby Potter, which meant that no matter what a compliment it was that she liked him, Scorpius was not seriously interested in dating her.
"Um, so, uh...I'm Isabella Fielding and..."
Ah, so that was her name. Scorpius nodded slowly, waiting for her to carry on.
"...and I was wondering if..."
Scorpius raised an eyebrow and her courage seemed to diminish.
"I-I-I wanted to know if..."
"Yes?" Scorpius asked, trying to be as nice and gentle as possible, knowing that if he had to wait around all evening for her to finish her sentences he'd probably die of hunger.
Finally she took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. "I wanted to know if you wouldgooutwithme!"
Scorpius did his best to look taken aback, after all, it wouldn't do to act like he'd been expecting it, even if he had been. He wondered what it would be like dating a girl. She seemed to be the type that other boys would dub 'cute.' And being in Ravenclaw, she was certainly intelligent, if not the most confident person he'd ever seen. He stared at her lips, they were thin and small, again adding to the 'cute' effect that surrounded her. He wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms and kiss her, the same way he'd been dreaming of kissing Alby since the end of last year. Would it feel the same? Was a kiss just a kiss?
Scorpius had been of a mind to reject her, to tell her he was sorry and that it wasn't her, that he had someone else already in mind, but now that he stared at her, the way her lower lip was trembling a bit, the way her hair was so neatly brushed to the side, her eyes so wide and full of hope, maybe he would date her for a bit, just to see what girls were like, so he'd know how Alby felt every time he spent time with one or pressed one up against the walls and placed one of those strong, silent kisses on her lips.
Scorpius thought of Hawk's words of advice to him. "Move on," Hawk had said to him. "That's life." Now staring at Isabella Fielding, who was heaving small breaths, still waiting for an answer, Scorpius wondered of Hawk wasn't right after all. Alby liked girls, he'd certainly dated a couple last year, even if they had ended up disastrously. And wasn't he interested in that Libby Claysington girl? He'd certainly mentioned her on the train a couple of months ago, even if that had seemed to go nowhere. Maybe he should move on. He and Alby would just be friends, maybe that was his lot in life.
Suddenly, Scorpius wanted to take little Isabella in his arms, and just say "yes." Yes, of course, Isabella, you are cute, intelligent, and a bit boyish looking so I will go out with you. And then he'd kiss her and he would have, after a few dates, a girlfriend. Scorpius leaned forward, wanting to say those words and wrap his arms around her frail, doll-like body, but something held him back.
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Date: 2007-10-17 05:18 am (UTC)The image, at first glance, seemed right - Isabella had flung herself into Scorps's arms, and he'd caught her, wrapping his arms around her back as she rested her head on one shoulder. But there was something wrong with the picture, as well - Scorp looked a mixture between terrified and guilty, and Isabella was sobbing.
Alby had felt a brief flash of elated relief - which was quickly shot down by a much heavier wave of guilt and self-derision. How dare he take such pleasure in the fact that Scorp had just turned Isabella down? Just because Scorp had said no did not mean it had been for the reasons Alby wanted - in fact, there was a much greater chance that it was for some other reason, anything, ranging from perhaps Scorp just didn't want to date Ravenclaws to the possibility that he had a different girl in mind. Any one of a million possibilities, and none of them were the reason that Alby wanted - that Scorp was the same as Alby, that he liked blokes and that he'd confess his undying love to Alby someday, and they'd live happily ever after. Of course that wasn't it, Alby thought, feeling sick to his stomach, feeling guilty enough for himself, Scorpius, and Isabella all together as his fingers clutched at the unforgiving stone wall and he tried not to hear Isabella crying.
He didn't understand. He didn't understand what was going on, or why it was making him so confused, or why he wanted to go up and yell at Scorp and tell him he was being bloody stupid and why didn't he just go out with the girl, she was smart and cute and didn't he understand that if he didn't, it would actually make things worse?
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Date: 2007-10-17 05:46 am (UTC)"I'm so sorry, Isabella." He held her without doing much, feeling that it was too inappropriate for him to stroke her hair or caress her back, so he just stood there awkwardly as her sobs slowly faded into chokes and she began to regain some semblance of normal breathing.
She pushed Scorpius away lightly and he took a step back, giving her some space. His jumper was soaked on his left shoulder, and it was rumpled from where she'd been holding him tightly. Wiping her eyes with her hands, she took deep breaths occasionally punctuated by a hiccup. She took a few step backs, looking miserable, her eyes red and swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears.
"I'm so sorry, Scorpius," she gasped in between breaths, her voice wavering, strained. "I won't ever bother you again."
She grabbed her bag and turned around without saying anything more, her dreams of being held in his arms crushed. Scorpius watched her go wordlessly as she fled, her small figure disappearing around the corner as she ran as fast as her stick-thin legs would carry her. He heard her footsteps and her renewed sobs echo all the way down the hall.
Closing his eyes, Scorpius shook his head. "I'm such a bloody fuck up," he muttered to himself, suddenly miserable as well. He'd never made a girl cry before. He'd never made anyone cry before. And here it was that he thought he'd saved her the suffering of going out with him only to find out eventually that he was gay and only interested in her because her short hair would make it easier to imagine she was a bloke.
Heaving a sigh and straightening his jumper, he adjusted his bag and his glasses and noticed for the first time that there was a tuft of hair that looked distinctly like Albus Potter sticking out from the corner of the corridor. Scorpius's heart leapt in his throat. He'd been so caught up in his self-pity over rejecting Isabella...had Alby seen everything? Had Alby heard everything? Would Alby know his secret? Could Alby even guess?
Too late to turn away and pretend that nothing happened, Scorpius made for the hallway nonchalantly, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just transpired outside of the Ancient Runes classroom.
Please, he prayed to whatever ancestors, wizards of legend, or gods were watching over him, let Alby not know.
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Date: 2007-10-17 06:04 am (UTC)Alby felt as miserable as she must, and suddenly, standing against the wall not ten feet from an oblivious Scorpius, he realized why.
It was because no matter what he said, or did, or thought, he wanted Scorpius. Alby wanted Scorp, and nothing was changing that. Not time, not seeing him every day, not even wanking off in the shower - not that he'd ever dared to do that since the one and only time it had happened. He'd gotten Rose to teach him a good strong silencing charm, and now when he woke up in the middle of the night with a hard-on, he laid there and thought about how wrong it was, how wrong he was, until he was miserable and guilty enough that it went away and he could sleep again. He couldn't touch himself, not when he thought about nothing but Scorp when he did it.
He wanted Scorp, and it was wrong, but he couldn't help but take some measure of guilty relief every time Scorp had said "I'm sorry," because it was one small chance in a million that maybe, one day, Scorp could be his, because he wouldn't be Isabella's.
Alby wanted to scream - he might know what he wanted, but he knew just as well he couldn't have it. How could he? How could he possibly summon up enough courage from anywhere in the world to confess to his best friend that not only was he gay, but that he was in love with him? Or something as close to love as Alby had ever felt for another person who wasn't someone in his family, because it was much, much stronger than anything he'd ever felt for any of his friends or girlfriends before.
But Isabella Fielding had. And suddenly Alby felt that if that tiny girl could have summoned up the courage to tell Scorpius Malfoy that she liked him, then why the fucking hell couldn't Albus Potter do the same?
That thought, and wherever it might have led, was abruptly cut off as Alby heard footsteps - Oh shit Scorpius! and he immediately slithered back around the corner and jogged in the opposite direction as quietly as he could for a moment, before doing an about-face and running back for Scorp so that he came upon the other just as he was turning the corner, nearly bowling his friend over.
"Sorry I'm late! I was trying to finish that Dark Arts essay and I forgot what time it was and then Alex and Joe were being bastards and did that Ravenclaw girl get a bad mark or something? She looked awful!"
He could play dumb better than most, and if Scorp was going to tell him about Isabella, it would have to be on his own terms. Alby wanted to help - needed to help, somehow, but if Scorp knew he'd been eavesdropping - and that part of him had been relieved - Alby didn't think he'd be able to live with himself right now.
[OOC: These boys just have the worst luck in the world~ XD And I'm off to bed for now, but I shall be around again in the morning!]
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Date: 2007-10-17 08:13 am (UTC)"Um, yeah," Scorpius replied hesitantly. "You know how those Ravenclaw girls get all serious about their marks." He tried not to look at the giant, damp stain on his jumper, hoping that if he didn't look at it, maybe Alby wouldn't notice it. And if Alby did, maybe if he pretended it wasn't there, Alby would do likewise.
The pit in his stomach hadn't gone away, it'd just gotten worse when Alby had showed up, pretending that everything was fine, and that he hadn't just rejected his one and only hope of having some semblance of a normal relationship with a girl. He sure now that all of Ravenclaw house would be up in arms about what a total git he was, and an ass to boot, and completely undatable material, and no sane girl would ever want to even try to date Scorpius Malfoy again. That last part was all fine and swell as far as he was concerned, at least Alby would still be his friend for rejecting someone than for being a bloody pouf who occasionally and quietly wanked to thoughts of his best friend.
Scorpius cleared his throat, wondering if Alby was going to ask any more questions about Isabella, but it seemed that Alby was avoiding the subject, which was of a great relief to Scorpius. Having to invent reasons why he'd turned down Isabella wasn't very high on his list of priorities, neither could he seem to find plausible reasons that weren't entirely suspicious or led to even more elaborate lies.
Finally deciding that it was sick of turning about, Scorpius's stomach made a large, rather embarrassing growling noise, which saved Scorpius from having to think of a conversation topic that wasn't pathetic.
"I think something's telling me it's dinner time," Scorpius said with a nervous laugh, running a hand through his hair. "I can look over your Defence Against the Dark Arts essay while we eat."
He smiled at Alby and Alby smiled back, maybe a bit more cheerful than usual, but these days that was pretty typical for him, even with the O.W.L.s just a few months away. They descended the stairs to the first floor, the sounds and smells of the Great Hall reaching them before they'd even come upon the door. Sitting down between Alby and Alex Moran, Scorpius realized that he'd made the right the decision. There was no doubt in his mind that he was--as much as he was capable of being--in love with Albus Severus Potter. And no amount of lying to himself was going to change it. It was just a matter of time, a question of when the secret would come out, whether by accident someday or by his own choosing.
[OOC: :D I think I'm about done here, so if you want to wrap it up with more Alby you can. I think both of our boys have made their decisions so...there's only one place to go from here! X3]
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Date: 2007-10-17 05:10 pm (UTC)There was no way he could keep doing this - keep pretending that he was normal and that things were normal. Not now that Lily knew, that his mother was worried, that his dormmates gave him strange looks every once in a while. Alby was going to have to face up to the fact - at least semi-publicly - that he was gay. And he'd have to talk to Scorp. But if Scorp turned him down... he was going to have to accept that, because in all reality it was the most likely scenario by a long shot.
But there was a time to worry about that, and now was not that time. Not when Scorp needed support that he wouldn't ask for. So Alby slid into a seat beside his friend and grinned over and passed the potatoes, and resolved that until he could find the time and place (and the courage) to tell his friend the truth, he was going to be the best friend he could be, in case he ruined things and never got the chance to do it again.
[OOC: All righty, end here, then? :D And then I suppose the confession log is next? I think it's my turn to start, so I can post something later today (or wait a couple days if you want~), whatever works. I'm thinking they'll be studying in the common room, with Alby being particularly fidgety, until he kind of gives up and asks Scorp to come with him and drags him to a potions room? I also think he's modified his horrible "I have a friend speech" now that Scorp's been asked out, but it's definitely still going to start out as something vague and awkward. XD;]
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Date: 2007-10-17 05:39 pm (UTC)I like the studying in common room idea, and Alby will drag Scorpius off to a spare potions room
to snog all night. :3]no subject
Date: 2007-10-17 06:25 pm (UTC)Sounds good, then. >D
Haha, that'll be about right once he finds out Scorp will let him XD]no subject
Date: 2007-10-17 09:18 pm (UTC)