[LOG] Confession
Oct. 17th, 2007 05:13 pmWhere: Slytherin Dungeons
When: (Saturday) November 27, 2021 (fifth year)
Alby shifted again on the couch, glancing over the top of his Charms book at Scorpius, who was dutifully taking notes on a piece of spare parchment as he looked over the chapter they'd reviewed today in class. Unable to pay attention to the words on the page before him, Alby sighed quietly, biting his lip. His stomach shifted, feeling fluttery and uncomfortable. They'd been studying for an hour, now - well, more like Scorp had been studying for an hour. Alby had been shifting and squirming and turning pages in his book for an hour, but he hadn't leared a single thing except there really was no way to get around what he needed to do. And every day since the "incident" with Scorp and Isabella (that Scorpius had still not mentioned, and it had been last week) only reminded him that he was a coward. Harry Potter's son was a coward, who couldn't even tell the single most important person in his school life how he felt about him, because he was afraid of what would happen. And Alby had to admit, he was getting really sick of living in fear.
Anything had to be better than this... this not knowing what would or could happen. Not knowing if he'd accidentally mess something up, say the wrong thing, glance the wrong way. Alby had never been good at concealing things, and every day he grew more afraid that he was going to slip up. If Scorpius was going to find out that his best friend was gay and, what's more, had a hopeless crush on him, Alby would much prefer it came from his own lips. Even if that was the scariest thing he could imagine right now.
Shifting again, he glanced over at his friend and decided that today was the day. Now was the moment. He'd been thinking about it all week, trying to plan out what he was going to say, and now it was late enough that Joe and Alex had given up studying and wouldn't miss them. He might not get another chance for a while, and while half of him said it could certainly wait as long as it wanted, the other half needed resolution badly enough that it spurred Alby to finally set his book down, willing himself not to blush as he coughed a bit to get Scorp's attention.
"H-hey, Scorp, I... wanted to talk to you." Except here was bad - there were still students sprinkled about the room working on various essays and reading, and even if there hadn't been, it was far too public. This was not something Alby wanted public - not yet, especially not if Scorp decided that he was the most disgusting thing on Earth and slammed the proverbial door in his face. "Can we... come on, somplace else. It won't take long." It might be over all too soon, he thought, as he stood, taking Scorp's hand and pulling, gently. There were loads of classrooms in the dungeons that weren't likely to be occupied this late at night, nor were they likely to be interrupted.
When: (Saturday) November 27, 2021 (fifth year)
Alby shifted again on the couch, glancing over the top of his Charms book at Scorpius, who was dutifully taking notes on a piece of spare parchment as he looked over the chapter they'd reviewed today in class. Unable to pay attention to the words on the page before him, Alby sighed quietly, biting his lip. His stomach shifted, feeling fluttery and uncomfortable. They'd been studying for an hour, now - well, more like Scorp had been studying for an hour. Alby had been shifting and squirming and turning pages in his book for an hour, but he hadn't leared a single thing except there really was no way to get around what he needed to do. And every day since the "incident" with Scorp and Isabella (that Scorpius had still not mentioned, and it had been last week) only reminded him that he was a coward. Harry Potter's son was a coward, who couldn't even tell the single most important person in his school life how he felt about him, because he was afraid of what would happen. And Alby had to admit, he was getting really sick of living in fear.
Anything had to be better than this... this not knowing what would or could happen. Not knowing if he'd accidentally mess something up, say the wrong thing, glance the wrong way. Alby had never been good at concealing things, and every day he grew more afraid that he was going to slip up. If Scorpius was going to find out that his best friend was gay and, what's more, had a hopeless crush on him, Alby would much prefer it came from his own lips. Even if that was the scariest thing he could imagine right now.
Shifting again, he glanced over at his friend and decided that today was the day. Now was the moment. He'd been thinking about it all week, trying to plan out what he was going to say, and now it was late enough that Joe and Alex had given up studying and wouldn't miss them. He might not get another chance for a while, and while half of him said it could certainly wait as long as it wanted, the other half needed resolution badly enough that it spurred Alby to finally set his book down, willing himself not to blush as he coughed a bit to get Scorp's attention.
"H-hey, Scorp, I... wanted to talk to you." Except here was bad - there were still students sprinkled about the room working on various essays and reading, and even if there hadn't been, it was far too public. This was not something Alby wanted public - not yet, especially not if Scorp decided that he was the most disgusting thing on Earth and slammed the proverbial door in his face. "Can we... come on, somplace else. It won't take long." It might be over all too soon, he thought, as he stood, taking Scorp's hand and pulling, gently. There were loads of classrooms in the dungeons that weren't likely to be occupied this late at night, nor were they likely to be interrupted.
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Date: 2007-10-18 01:01 am (UTC)He could feel his heart pounding, heartbeat pulsing in his ears and he hadn't even said anything yet. He'd never felt this nervous before asking someone out - not even Talia, whom he'd really liked his second year - and she had turned him down in the end, he thought, not sure if past experiences boded well for this or not. It was hard to tell.
For a moment he considered chickening out - he hadn't said anything, he could very, very easily turn this into a private conference about something - anything - else. But his heart knew what his head was still having trouble accepting - that this needed to happen, whatever the outcome may be, because living in limbo was hurting. And his mother had said that if their friendship was strong enough, it would recover, even if he made a mess of things. Alby could only hope that she was right as he raised his eyes enough to watch Scorpius for a moment, standing with his back to the door and looking at Alby expectantly.
"U-um..." Alby coughed, tried again. "I just had a question I wanted to ask. You - the other day. With Isabella Fielding. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overhear, I really didn't. It just happened. I didn't... I wasn't going to say anything, because you didn't. But you turned her down, didn't you?"
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Date: 2007-10-18 04:49 am (UTC)For a second it looked like Alby was going to back out on the conversation after all, and Scorpius wasn't sure whether to be relieved or even more anxious. Finally Alby spoke, seeming to gather some courage and start his words off with a small cough.
Scorpius caught off guard with the question, not exactly what he'd been expecting. Oh great, he thought, deflating a bit. Had Alby been wanting to talk to him about Isabella? He hadn't even given a second thought about it since Tuesday. But of course, Rose was in Isabella's year, and she was Alby's cousin, and naturally when Ravenclaw had seen one of their students run back in tears they'd be upset about it. Rose must have been sent to talk to Alby who was supposed to talk to him, and what was he supposed to do? Have a talk with Isabella again and say he'd made a mistake and that he'd like to go out with her? Or was Alby just supposed to give him an earful of what a terrible arse he was for making another girl cry? Worst yet, was he supposed to give an explanation for why he'd rejected her, to be passed along until the message got all the way back to Isabella?
Terrified at all the possibilities, each one seeming less improbable than the next, Scorpius swallowed the lump in his throat and managed to sound like he wasn't frightened of the task sure to be laid in front of him.
"Uh, I suppose I did," Scorpius said. "I mean,I didn't really say 'no,' but I think she got my drift..." Uncomfortable, Scorpius adjusted his glasses. Why did he feel so guilty for turning her down? Was he wrong for rejecting her? Could he have done something better?
Scorpius sighed, looking at the floor in dismay. "I...I really didn't mean to make her cry." He shrugged, helpless. "It just happened."
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Date: 2007-10-18 05:10 am (UTC)Alby shook his head, wishing he could take the question back and start again. "No! No - I mean, of course you didn't. I know you didn't mean to make her cry - you wouldn't..." Alby swallowed. Scorp would never intentionally make someone innocent cry. But Alby felt like, very shortly, that was what was going to happen. Not that Alby was in any way innocent - he cringed a little, thinking back, thinking maybe this was a bad idea. He'd wanked off to fantasies of Scorp, for fuck's sake. How on Earth could Scorp ever want to give him a chance?
No. He had to say this - even if he was going to end up in tears for the first time in years, even if he was about to be ridiculed by his best friend. Alby steeled himself, taking another breath, trying to find his voice again.
"I didn't mean it like that," he finally managed to say. "I just meant - I meant..." Say it, Alby. SAY IT.
"I was just wondering if it was her, or if you... just weren't interested in that sort of thing. Just... what if someone else were interested in you?"
... Well, it was close.
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Date: 2007-10-18 05:21 am (UTC)Scorpius stopped, blinked. What was Alby trying to say? That there were two Ravenclaw girls that had been interested in him? That, Merlin forbid, Rose was interested in him? Or maybe Chloe and any number of Slytherin girls? If Scorpius could have gone any more pale, he would have.
"Uh...I..." Scorpius stammered, not quite sure what to say because Alby had, in fact, not given him much of question to respond to. "What?"
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Date: 2007-10-18 05:45 am (UTC)Scorp obviously didn't know what he was trying to say - because you're being bloody impossible to understand, that's why!, he told himself, and bit his lip, already feeling the first bit of warmth start to rush into his cheeks. He looked away from his friend, studying the floor instead, watching his sneakers kick up tiny motes of dust as he scraped them along the floor. He couldn't look at Scorp, because if he was looking at Scorp he didn't think he'd be able to say what he was going to say. And he realized, with a feeling akin to one who is about to have a horrible accident, sees it coming, and can't stop it, that he was going to say it.
"I - I just meant... if someone else were interested. Not - not her or, I mean. I mean...
Head down, Alby squeezed his eyes shut and prepared for the worst. To be yelled at - to be ridiculed, to be beaten and broken in half by words or fists. He knew it was coming - how could it not? Over the course of this (admittedly short) conversation, he'd come to the distinct conclusion that Scorp would never reciprocate, that Alby was just telling him one last truth before their friendship ended. At least, he thought miserably, he'd have gotten the truth off his chest before it was over. Even if it was the truth that was certainly going to end it.
His stomach knotted, and it felt like he was going to be sick. He curled his fingers into the bench to conceal the fact that they were shaking, and took one more deep breath, feeling as though it may be his last. But he had to get these next words out. No matter what.
They came out quietly - a bit choked - and Alby hadn't imagined that speaking could ever be so difficult. But strangled as they were, the words came out. "I mean someone like me."
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Date: 2007-10-18 06:07 am (UTC)Someone like Alby? Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius wanted to say, there's nobody else in the world quite like you. But by the time he'd gotten around to forming the last part he'd already forgotten the first part, because his mind had coiled itself around Alby's words and were trying to figure out what he'd meant.
Did someone like Alby like him? Like, Alby's little sister? Or his cousin, Rose? Or did he mean that...
If Scorpius hadn't been leaning against the wall, his knees would have given out and he'd have collapsed on the floor.
This is a dream, Scorpius thought, his head swimming. I'm going to wake up, and I am going to be the most miserable person in the world.
If he could have pinched himself without being obvious about it, he would have, just to see if he'd wake up. He kept staring at Alby, as if his friend had, by some bizarre miracle, just sprouted another head. This was either a dream or it was reality. Despite it feeling rather real, Scorpius hedged his bets on the former. It simply wouldn't do to mistake Alby's words and stumble over a confession of his own, only to have his hopes dashed. He didn't think he'd be able to live through something as horrifying or embarrassing as that.
Scorpius shook his head, as if trying to clear it. "Wait, you mean..." Was it too much to hope for, that all this time Alby and he had been acting awkward because they'd been thinking the exact same thing? "You...what?"
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Date: 2007-10-18 06:28 am (UTC)But all that meant was that Alby was going to have to say it again, more clearly. He'd already said the words once - they hadn't burned his throat or made him sick, though he still felt as though that might change any moment. His fingers dug into the wood of the bend so tightly that he thought he might get splinters. He still couldn't lift his head to look at Scorp; he swallowed, trying to find the right words and get them past the lump that was forming in his throat.
"Like me - I mean..." He took a shuddering breath, and went on, determined to get it out, and to try and make the best of it and maybe try to at least explain, even if Scorp would never understand.
"I'm sorry, Scorp. I'm sorry, I've tried not to think about it or - or tell you about it but I can't just... I can't just pretend. If you think I'm a freak or whatever then that's okay, you can yell at me and hate me and I'll never look at you or try to talk to you ever again. But I can't just pretend I don't...
"I like you, Scorp. I really, really like you. I don't like girls, I like you more than anything and I know it's wrong and it's weird and I know you don't - you'd never like me and you probably never want to talk to me again but I had to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
All Alby could think about was how he'd ruined everything, now - how it was going to be over, how Scorp really was going to hate him for being wrong and weird and gay and a freak. And all he could do was apologize and hope that maybe Scorp might be able to forgive him before this went so terribly wrong.
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Date: 2007-10-18 07:02 am (UTC)God, he'd been such an idiot. Everything he'd been trying to hide, all that pretending, for nothing. His mother had been right, he should have told Alby earlier, and just saved them both the trouble and the suffering.
Alby looked so terrified as he finished, and it almost broke Scorpius's heart to know that his reluctance had been what brought about Alby's fear. Merlin, did he actually think that he was going to be...rejected? Hated?
There was nothing more that Scorpius wanted to do than pull Alby into his arms, tilt his chin up and kiss him, and so he did exactly that, crossing the distance between them with two strides. He hauled Alby onto his feet and without any words, bent down, closed his eyes, and hoped he wasn't going to miss.
He didn't.
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Date: 2007-10-18 07:17 am (UTC)But that train of thought was broken as Scorpius finally moved; he strode up to Alby silently and hauled him to his feet - this was it, he was going to yell or punch or shove or -
- kiss him.
Wait - kiss him?
Alby's eyes flew open, but it didn't change the reality - it was reality, right? - that Scorpius had pulled him to his feet so that he could bend down and press lips insistently to his. Alby's arms still hung at his sides, confused - but only for a moment.
After that moment, he lost the ability to wonder or be confused or really think at all. All he knew was that Scorp was kissing him and it wasn't a show, there was no painting leering at them, he was kissing him and Alby had damned well better start kissing back. His hands got with the program before his brain did, rising to grasp Scorp's shoulders like a lifeline, and he stood on tiptoe just enough to push back against the other, make sure that Scorp knew that he was kissing back because God, he'd wanted to do this for so, so long. He didn't care if they knocked noses or teeth or anything, because if he could have pushed himself and Scorpius into one person with just that movement, he would have.
And that was already more thinking than he could manage, so his thoughts fizzled out there as Alby put all he was worth into that kiss, not caring how long it went on or if the world decided to end when it was done. He didn't know what had happened or why, but it seemed to be happening and he wasn't going to question it. Not until they pulled apart and his brain might think about working again. Or not. He didn't really care.
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Date: 2007-10-18 08:20 am (UTC)Then he felt Alby hands gripping his shoulders, and Alby was pressing into him--responding, kissing back--and he wasn't waking up in his bed, sweaty and erect, and miserable. This was everything that he had ever dreamed of doing with Alby and it was real. He was really kissing Albus Potter, his best mate, and Alby was kissing back with just as much as force.
The rest of Scorpius's already reeling mind winked out and shut down, and his body took over. Instinctively he dropped one hand to cup the small of Alby's back, to give him something to push against to bring them closer. His other hand was still gently at Alby's chin, tilting it up slightly, and as Alby learned further into him and he bent closer, the hand began to wander back, moving to rest at the junction of Alby's jaw and neck, his thumb caressing Alby's skin.
The kiss paused and they broke away briefly, as if neither of them could really believe what was happening, and were too afraid to commit themselves fully, should it turn out to be a dream after all. Scorpius searched Alby's eyes for any signs of regret or alarm, but found nothing but fondness and relief there. Scorpius smiled, the real first smile he'd felt like he'd had all school year. He felt wonderful--pleased, overjoyed and overwhelmed, all at once--and all he could think about was that he wanted to keep kissing Alby and never let go, nevermind that it was a bit chilly here and had a dank, musty sort of smell. Alby was always warm and Alby always smelled great.
Scorpius closed in for another kiss, his eyes shutting as Alby met him halfway. They wrapped their arms around each other hungrily, in the ways they'd so far only been able to do in their fantasies, moaning as they pressed as closely as tightly as they could, and snogged like there was no tomorrow.
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Date: 2007-10-18 07:59 pm (UTC)When they broke for a moment, Alby couldn't do much more than breathe at first, glancing up at Scorp to confirm to himself that this was really real - that he wasn't going to wake up in the middle of the night in his bed, alone. But Scorp was smiling wider than Alby had seen him all year, and the relief that Alby could feel running throughout his entire body seemed to run across Scorp's face as well. He suddenly realized that it seemed they had both spent the first half of this year being incredibly, completely stupid. And all of that seemed so pointless now, as Scorpius leaned in again and Alby happily met the other's mouth with his own, arms sliding under Scorp's and around the other's waist to pull him closer.
They didn't stay there for long, though - whether under Alby's conscious control or not, his hands moved, from stroking Scorp's back to tracing around his waist to reaching up to thread fingers through his hair - all because he could, and he wanted to, he'd wanted to for a long time and now he wasn't going to waste any time in touching as much of Scorpius as he could reach from this position. He liked the feel of his hands in Scorp's hair, hoping he liked it too, because even though Alby theoretically knew what he was doing this was still so new -
Except it wasn't new. It was Scorp, and Alby might not be sure yet of what he liked, but he was going to find out.
When they finally paused for more than a few seconds at a time, Alby glanced up again, his hands still loosely clasped behind the other's neck - and suddenly he laughed, unable to stop himself, the insanity of the past few months and all their mishaps suddenly coming out as laughter. He buried his face against the other's shoulder and laughed until he couldn't breathe.
"I thought I was such a bloody pervert," he admitted between breaths once the laughter had quieted, inhaling Scorpius's scent of clean mixed with parchment, books, and something that was just him. "I thought you were going to think I was gross." All, apparently, unfounded fears; he knew that now, but they had seemed so real minutes - hours? - ago. "It's a good thing you're just as gross as I am." He chuckled again, glancing up, feeling as though he were unable to contain the sheer amount of happiness he was feeling at this exact moment.
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Date: 2007-10-19 02:07 am (UTC)Alby's laughter was infectious and soon Scorpius found himself laughing too, clasping Alby close against his shoulder, one arm wrapped loosely around the boy's waist. He leaned his cheek against the top of Alby's head as they calmed down a bit, taking deep breaths. Somehow Scorpius felt like he had Alby had always been like this, though he couldn't recall a time when they'd held each other this close.
"Hey, I'm not gross," Scorpius said, wrinkling his nose as Alby glanced up at him. Then Scorpius laughed and kissed the top of Alby's head, like he'd always dreamt he might do someday. "Though I guess I'd have a hard time convincing anybody else but you."
Scorpius cuddled Alby close, a wide smile on his face, just enjoying the intimacy of their proximity, of being able to hold Alby against him and just stand there and not have to worry about filling up the silence. He wondered what had taken him so long to realize that he'd wanted Alby; God, he was thick. Had he really had a crush on Alby all the way since their first meeting on the train? Not that it mattered anymore, how long he had suffered without knowing what afflicted him--he was Alby's now and Alby was all his.
I think I have a boyfriend now, Scorpius thought, a bit awed at the idea. He'd never really seriously contemplated the idea that Alby might honestly be interested in him as well, and now that he had Alby, Scorpius didn't really know what he wanted to do first, so he just settled for leaning into Alby and smelling his hair, which smelled a bit like his shampoo and a bit like something Scorpius's brain could place except for being one hundred percent Albus Potter.
[OOC: Alby is the CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET! I've been filled with squee the whole day! :D]
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Date: 2007-10-19 03:22 am (UTC)"You're rather a lot of other things too," he murmured, grinning softly, "but I think it'd take a long time to recite the list." He kept his nose pressed into Scorp's shoulder a little longer, but it seemed silly to just stand here and breathe him in for the next hour, even if it seemed a rather good idea all at the same time.
"D'you think Joe and Alex have gone to bed yet?" he asked after a moment - it must be later by now, maybe they'd gone to bed. The common room had been emptying already when Alby had dragged Scorp out here, and hopefully their dormmates had gotten tired and gone to bed. ""I'm not... er, what do you think they're going to say?" He wasn't necessarily ashamed - far from it, he felt like he wanted to climb to the roof and let the world know that Scorpius Malfoy was his - but he wasn't exactly sure about the kind of reception they'd receive, even among their friends. Lily had said it was all right... but James...
Alby resolved not to think about James right now. That would come later.
[OOC: XD I knooow, they just totally made my day. XD I also got some interesting ideas for future logs from Valerie, so I'll have to poke you about that at some point~ >D]
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Date: 2007-10-19 05:27 am (UTC)Scorpius laughed. He wondered if Alby was thinking along the same lines as him. They had already had similar thoughts about other things, after all. "I hope they're still not playing the same game," Scorpius said. He'd lost track of time, having no clue how long he'd been snogging Alby, how long they'd just been standing there together, not caring about the rest of the world.
"I don't care what they say," Scorpius said, "it won't make much a difference to us, would it?" He looked into Alby's eyes, wondering if Alby was worried about what their dormmates, what the rest of the school, would think about them. There were certainly a few people who didn't bother to hide what they thought of Hawk and his flamboyant ways. Scorpius grinned. "I think they'll just be surprised when they find out, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces."
Scorpius wasn't afraid of telling the world, not the rest of Hogwarts, or his parents or even his grandparents. He knew his mother would be so happy for him, and eventually his father too, after he recovered from the initial shock. Delphina would tease him about it, but she was never too mean when she teased him. As for Grandma Cissy and Grandpa Lucius well, that might be a bit of a different matter.
"Would your tell your Dad and Mum?" Scorpius asked. He was no stranger to the rivalry that had once taken place between his father and Alby's. He knew of the unsavory things his father had once done as a student at Hogwarts, though these days it hardly seemed that his father had been that kind of boy. "Do you think your Dad will be mad?"
[OOC: Ooh, ideas? :D yes, ideas are wonderful! :D]
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Date: 2007-10-19 05:53 am (UTC)Alby shook his head a bit at Scorp's words. "No, of course it won't matter, it's just..." He bit his lip, trying to think of how to voice his concerns properly. Alby wasn't really one to care what his peers thought of him - he liked to be well-liked, but not to the point that he'd do something stupid or mean to achieve that. By the same token, he didn't really care if anyone made fun of him - words were only words, after all, and he didn't have to listen to them.
He made a face; it was hard to put this into words. "I'm not ashamed," he insisted. "I don't want to hide it and I don't care what anyone says. I just... I guess we should be careful." He didn't want to make things harder than they might already be - it wasn't as though he expected years of ridicule, but he knew better than to expect that every single person in the school would be fine with Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy holding hands in the hall, to say the least. They might not be alone, but they didn't have an overly large number of students like them, either.
Now his thoughts turned away from his schoolmates and towards home as he considered Scorp's other question a moment. "Of course I'd tell them - I mean, I can't exactly hide it," Alby pointed out softly. "If I didn't tell them, Lily or James would - actually, I think Lily already kind of knows, she already told me a couple weeks ago she didn't care if I dated a guy." Alby chuckled softly, thinking that at least his sister would be on his side. "I don't really know what Dad'll do. I don't think he'd forbid me or anything, even if he doesn't like it."
Alby paused, frowning. He knew Scorpius's father wasn't the same person he had been in the stories his family sometimes told, but Scorp didn't talk about him a lot so he didn't have a very good idea how he was, either. "What about your Dad?"
[OOC: Alby definitely doesn't have a problem telling people, he's just been brought up in a slightly more conservative environment than Scorp. XD; Ginny hasn't exactly groomed him to believe that liking boys is perfectly okay, though I get the feeling she never told him it wasn't, either.
And, yes, I do have a few ideas~ Because first off James is NOT going to be a happy camper, and secondly I wonder if all the attention they're going to get isn't going to make the school rethink their policy on this sort of thing a bit... XD I'll shoot you an email (probably tomorrow) when I get the chance to write down some thoughts.]
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Date: 2007-10-19 08:38 am (UTC)Scorpius didn't think he'd be able to sleep, not with his lingering excitement of having just discovered Alby as his significant other. But nevertheless he nodded. "It is getting late," he said, "and we'll be in trouble if we get caught."
He had never really stopped to consider what would ever have happened if he dated another bloke while at Hogwarts--the Wizarding community in Britain had certainly progressed in its ideals since the war against Voldemort, but that didn't mean that everyone had moved on. Scorpius thought his mother and father were rather unusual as far as parents went, his mother especially, being less strict and more open than the mothers of all his Chinese friends. Scorpius had never thought of what stigma he might endure from his schoolmates if he was found in the corridors holding hands or snogging Alby. Alby was smart in wanting to be careful, after all, Scorpius had no idea what the teachers or the Headmistress might do if she found about their situation. While he hadn't read the school rules himself, Scorpius was willing to hedge a good amount of money on sex being officially banned in the school, not that it had ever stopped anyone from breaking school rules.
Scorpius grinned fondly. "I think your sister seems like a pretty cool girl," he said. He hadn't spent much time with her, but from what he'd seen, she was quite the fiery Potter. Had Scorpius not known that she was actually two years younger than Alby, he would have guessed, from the way she treated her brothers, that she was older than Alby by a bit, despite her short stature.
"I don't think Dad will object," Scorpius said, "vocally, at least," glad that he hadn't been home when his father had received his first letter his first year, gushing about what a great friend he'd met on the Hogwarts Express. He was not sure what exactly had transpired at the breakfast table, but he did know that his father had been silent for a few days when he'd come home for the summer holiday, before finally asking him how his best friend was doing.
Scorpius paled a bit at the thought that Christmas holiday was coming up soon, which meant everyone always gathered at Malfoy Manor for at least a few days, and that he would have to tell his father (and possibly his grandparents too) that not only was he seeing a bloke, that bloke was Harry Potter's son. His father had not spoken very often of Alby's father and not entirely with the sort of praise that the wizards and witches seemed to lavish on him here in Britain. Well, Scorpius supposed his father would get over it eventually, though he'd prefer it happen with minimal shouting.
"I've got my mum, and I know she's all right with it," said Scorpius, after a moment's silence. He didn't want to think about those thing just yet. This was his first night with his new boyfriend, and he didn't want to be troubled by thoughts of anyone or anything else.
"Bedtime, Alby?" Scorpius asked, trying not to sound disappointed that the two of them might be sleeping separately in their own beds tonight.
[OOC: Oh no, James is not going to be a happy camper. :3 I'm curious to see what he's going to do and say. Scorp will never forgive him if he treats Alby badly! D<
It seems that they'll have some difficult times ahead of them, not only from other students in the school, but also the teachers considering their situation. If they get caught having sex, they are so expelled, I'm sure. D:]
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Date: 2007-10-19 08:26 pm (UTC)He didn't even know if he'd be able to sleep, really, but staying up for the entire night seemed almost silly if they were going to have the coming... years, really, to spend together. Alby couldn't suppress the stupid grin that crossed his features, just thinking about that. They had a long time to spend together, if he had anything to say about it.
The grin turned a little more proud as Scorp mentioned Lily. "Yeah, she's... really okay, most of the time," he agreed - Lily could be a pest sometimes, but most of the time she wasn't, and she seemed to side with Alby against James more often than not. That alone had won her Alby's admiration.
But thoughts of family did always circle back to their parents, and their not-so-subtle rivalry when they'd gone to school here. "Yeah? It's good your mum's okay with it... I don't think mine'll mind... much." He really had no idea how Mum would take the news, but somehow he thought she might take it better than Dad. He hoped - if both his parents took it badly, that would certainly make the holidays uncomfortable. But Lily would be on his side. Maybe that would help. "I guess we'll just have to see what our parents say," Alby said, only a little worriedly. "It won't matter anyway," he decided firmly, "I'm not going to not see you even if my parents don't like it." And that was that, he decided, nodding.
"I suppose we should try to sleep, then," he agreed, but one hand slid over to take Scorp's even as he said it, glancing to the door. "Do you think if I just... er, I mean, if you didn't mind, I wouldn't mind... sharing?" He asked quietly, feeling suddenly shy for no reason whatsoever. He didn't think Scorp would mind, after all, but then Scorp had never expressed romantic interest in anyone before so Alby really didn't know what his comfort levels were with just about anything. There was really only one way to find out. "I think if I go to bed alone I might think I dreamed the whole thing in the morning, heh," he admitted with a quiet laugh. "I've had an awful lot of dreams like this, only they never lasted nearly as long." Somehow he felt stupid admitting that, but it was true, and it was almost a relief to be able to admit it, embarrassing or not.
[OOC: I was thinking something along the lines of him not believing the rumors at first, and probably a few scuffles occurring before he's willing to accept it.
Yeah, definitely - at least that actually kind of leads into Professor Blackwood talking to Scorp and/or Alby? :D; They'll definitely have to be careful, though - they're going to get a lot more attention that just about anyone else would, at that school. >>;]
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Date: 2007-10-20 01:17 am (UTC)Scorpius's heart skipped a beat when Alby took his hand and asked shyly if he'd like to spend the night with him in bed. "Hell yeah," Scorpius wanted to reply, but composed himself just in time to give Alby's hand a squeeze and say, "I would love to share with you." And then he broke out into a smile again, not being able to contain his joy at having Alby beside him. "I think I've been dreaming about this day for years," admitted Scorpius, one hand coming up to caress Alby's cheek and tilt his face up for a short kiss. "I've always wanted to wake up with you," Scorpius when they parted again.
He cocked his head in the direction of the door. "Let's go then."
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Date: 2007-10-20 02:01 am (UTC)Refusing to pull his hand out of the other's, Alby led Scorpius back down the corridors to the common room, which was likely deserted by now. It was nice, walking side-by-side, fingers intertwined and shoulders brushing every so often, not in an awkward way but a comfortable one. He didn't need to throw his arms around Scorp to say or know he was his, and that seemed the best thing of all. For all that they'd completely misunderstood each other for months, there seemed to be no problem with that now.
He whispered the password and they entered the common room; the fire was burning low in the hearth and it did look like everyone else had gone to bed. Which was all the better, Alby thought, as -
But it seemed not everyone had gone to bed - someone was stirring in the shadows, and as he and Scorp came closer Alby realized the movement was coming from the table where Joe and Alex had been sitting, earlier. In fact, it was Joe and Alex who were stirring, as though they'd fallen asleep in their seats.
The firelight finally fell on their faces, and Alby saw Alex looking a rather smug sort of pleased. "... 'Bout bloody time," he said groggily, as Joe looked a mixture between embarrassed and amused. "Have you two worked it all out, then?"
Alby blinked, wondering if it really had been all that obvious. His mouth opened, but seemed rather unable to function. Oops.
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Date: 2007-10-20 08:57 pm (UTC)The fire in the Slytherin fireplace had burnt low by the time they made it back to the common room, the lights in the place had dimmed according to the time of night, and Scorpius thought he and Alby alone until he heard a rustling in a corner, and in the shadows could just barely make out the figures of his dormmates, Joe and Alex, and their finished chess game between them.
Scorpius's jaw dropped a little as Alex stirred and Joe rubbed his eyes, looking at them both while trying not to stare too hard. Joe's line of sight took him from both of their incredulous faces to their shoulders and hands, which were still clasping each other fairly tightly. Then Joe looked at Alex, to gauge his friend's reaction. It took a moment for Scorpius to recover his composure, and close his jaw with a barely audible snap.
"Well, that's obvious isn't it?" Scorpius asked.
Alex raised and eyebrow and shook his head. "Not really, actually. You two have always been rather ambiguous." He looked to Joe for confirmation, and reluctantly, Joe nodded.
Alex yawned and stretched, rising from his seat, his joints popping as he got up and muttered something about never sleeping in chairs again. He patted Scorpius and Alby each on the shoulder. "I hope that the two of you, between yourselves, can produce a decent silencing charm."
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Date: 2007-10-21 05:35 am (UTC)All the same, Alby made a face at Alex, despite the fact that he was blushing. "If you're lucky," he replied, though of course he knew a silencing charm, and it wasn't like they were going to do anything in front of their dormmates. At least, not yet...
That thought brought on a wave of new ones that Alby admittedly had never considered - he'd never thought he'd actually get Scorp, and thus he'd never actually thought about what would happen if he ever did. He found himself blushing a bit more furiously as he thought about the fantasies he had allowed himself, as well as the dreams that had often woken him in the night. He'd never... gotten very far with any of his girlfriends. Not had he honestly cared to, in retrospect... which in itself was a bit telling, he supposed.
But with Scorp he did care to - he'd fantasized about it enough, certainly, but fantasies were not reality for a number of reasons. One of the main ones being that other people did in fact occupy the school, unlike how no one had ever been around in his dreams or fantasies. So that was a problem that would warrant dealing with. As well as... well. The subject matter of said fantasies, which he was sure would come up at some point. To be dealt with, he supposed, when it did.
But not tonight. Because right now he didn't want to deal with Alex and Joe staring at them quite like that - not disgusted, just surprised and amused, but it was still more than Alby was quite prepared to deal with at this point in time. He had Scorp, and that was first and foremost. Anyone and anything else could wait, because he sure as hell had waited long enough.
He tugged a bit on Scorp's hand, wanting to go in the direction of the dormitory.
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Date: 2007-10-21 08:40 am (UTC)Scorpius rolled his eyes. Seriously, did Alex expect that he didn't know a silencing charm? They were difficult to cast and perfect, true, but really, Alex should at least expect a bit more discretion out of him than that. Besides, Alby was particularly talented at Charms, between the two of them they could probably cast something so powerful it'd block a sound that would even wake the dead.
"If I ever hear anything at all, I swear I'm going to full body bind the both of you," Alex grumbled. "That counts in the shower too, mind," he said.
"Goodnight, you guys," said Scorpius, when Alby tugged on his hand, looking in the direction of their dormitory. Shooting a final, smug grin in Alex's direction, Scorpius took off with Alby.
"A galleon says it's Alby's bed," Scorpius heard Alex say as they moved out of earshot.
"I bet it'll be Scorpius's bed, mate," said Joe.
"Done."
Scorpius could hardly contain the excitement of finally sleeping with Alby. He'd been so afraid to even hope of the possibility of it happening someday, no matter how often he'd fantasized about it. He wouldn't do anything to Alby of course, it was a little too early for that, but he just wanted to hold him all night, and not have to get up in the morning.
The curtains of Zach's bed were shut when they got back to the room, still holding hands and staring, for a moment, at the their two beds right next to each other. They could hear Alex and Joe shuffling into the room, right behind them. Scorpius looked at Alby.
"Your bed or mine?"
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Date: 2007-10-22 05:29 am (UTC)"If they're going to be betting on stuff, we should get some kind of kickback," he muttered to Scorp; but even thinking about that faded as they entered their room and the sudden reality that he was going to get to sleep in the same bed as Scorpius reared up and made itself known. Alby grinned and glanced back to his friend - boyfriend, he realized - and pointed.
"Yours," he said quietly, but decisively. He'd slept in his own bed for years. He wanted to sleep in Scorp's. "But we can try mine tomorrow, if you want," he murmured quietly, giving the other's hand a soft tug. Because it was only fair, after all. And only solidified the fact that they'd have more "tomorrows" to share than he'd ever dare think about.
He pulled away from Scorp for a moment, feeling both shy and bold as he pulled his shirt over his head and began rooting for his pyjamas, the same as any other night. After all, there was no reason to sleep in his clothes - and no reason to worry about changing in front of Scorp ever again. He'd been skittish about it most of the year, always concentrating rather intently on his own clothes and trying not to seem too carefree, always changing at breakneck speed. But now he didn't have to - suddenly nothing was weird and it was an utter relief.
Once changed, Alby turned and grinned; he masked any lingering trepidation bu taking a flying leap for Scorp's bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress. "Seems comfy~" he remarked innocently, eyes watching Scorp because it didn't matter if he saw him change for bed. Or, really, it did - because he didn't have to be quite so afraid to look, anymore. "Come on."
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Date: 2007-10-22 06:05 am (UTC)Belatedly, Scorpius noticed that he'd been staring at Alby the whole time, and that by the time Alby had turned around with his pajamas, that he was still fully dressed. He heard Alex snicker behind him, a short scuffle, and then a small "ow!" that followed shortly thereafter. His cheeks a bit pink from being caught openly ogling his boyfriend, Scorpius went to his dresser and found his nightclothes, putting them on with haste. He did, however, think it appropriate to linger a bit without a shirt on before he pulled his pajama shirt over his head.
Scorpius laughed, climbing into bed after Alby, pushing the covers aside and sliding in. He didn't bother to wave goodnight at Joe and Alex in the room, they were making a point of looking anywhere else in the room but at them. Scorpius shut the curtains to his bed, the thick brocade shutting out nearly all the light from the room, making his bed seem incredibly dark. He groped about a bit in the dark for Alby, taking his glasses off and tilting Alby's chin toward him for another kiss.
I am never going to get sick of this, thought Scorpius as they shifted a bit beneath the covers, trying to find themselves a comfortable position. Truth be told, Scorpius wasn't very tired, but if Alby was...he wouldn't mind lying all night, staring at the canopy of his bed with Alby slumbering in his arms.
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Date: 2007-10-22 06:22 am (UTC)And he'd be able to appreciate it a lot, he thought, squirming a little; then he had to move over a bit, to let the other into the bed, and Scorp closed the curtains and they were enclosed in muffled darkness. It was a bit sad it was too dark to really see Scorp without his glasses - he rarely took them off, and when he did, Alby wasn't usually paying attention. But he supposed seeing wasn't as important right now as feeling, as his chin was tilted up and he was kissed again. Feeling was definitely nice, he decided.
They shifted under the covers, Alby feeling a small wave of shyness again but overcoming it with relative ease, once he realized that obviously Scorp would not have let him sleep here if he was uncomfortable with it. That decided, Alby shifted over and threw one arm around Scorpius's middle, resting chest-to-side with his head just propped up against Scorp's shoulder. It felt nice like this, he thought, blinking up in the darkness in the direction of Scorp's head. "Is this okay?" he asked quietly, figuring that if it wasn't comfortable for both of them, they'd find a way that was. He laughed a bit, feeling tired and excited and drained and energized all at once. "Are you even tired? I think I might either fall asleep in no time or stay up all night, heh." He snuggled a little closer, breathing in and out. "This is nice." There was probably a much better way to say what he was feeling, but the simple words seemed to say enough, for now.
[OOC: I imagine Alby does move around a lot when he sleeps, but he doesn't punch or kick, at least. XD; And I do suppose he's actually more likely to fall asleep even if he doesn't mean to - he doesn't strike me as the sort who can easily stay up all night. I think he's so energetic that he just wears himself out. XD;;]
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Date: 2007-10-22 08:43 am (UTC)"Perfect," Scorpius said softly, resting the side of his cheek on the top of Alby's head, placing his hand over Alby's arm, which was flung across his stomach. There, nestled in the covers in the dark, Scorpius had never felt more content. Not every night when he was a child and his mother would give him a kiss and tuck him into bed, not the first time his father had taken him to Shaolin Temple's vast Hall of Histories--every other memory of happiness he had paled in comparison to the feeling of Alby lying by his side.
Scorpius found that he actually was tired, and he yawned a bit in response to this realization. "I guess I'm a bit tired," he said. Blinking a bit as his eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, Scorpius realized he could see Alby's light freckled skin of the arm across his waist, and he could see the fringes of Alby's dark hair. And though he may have been imagining it, if he held his breath, he thought he could hear Alby breathe. "Are you tired, Alby?" Scorpius could not envision anything more perfect than the way they were now, with the possible exception of Alby pressed into the bed beneath him.
"I've dreamed so many times of us like this," Scorpius said quietly into Alby's hair, closing his eyes, a smile his face. He'd wanked to it too, but he didn't really feel like he ought to say that.
Scorpius debated whether or not to fall asleep. On one hand, he wanted to stay up all night and just watch, listen, to Alby sleep. And on the other, he wanted to sleep with Alby too, to dream with him at night so they could wake up together. That would be pure bliss, surely, he would have never gotten a better night's rest.
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Date: 2007-10-23 05:32 am (UTC)It was something of a relief to hear that Scorp had dreamed about things like this too - almost an affirmation, Alby thought, because he'd never once thought that he might not be the only one having dreams of this sort. "I did too," he murmured, closing his eyes to the darkness. "But you're a lot nicer in person." That was certainly for sure - no fantasy, no dream, no matter how real it had seemed at the time, could compare to this. This was so much better, feeling Scorp's comforting bulk beside him, inhaling his scent each time he took a breath. There was so much Alby's imagination had left out, and now he had it all, and it seemed more than he could bear.
But sleep really did take precedence, it seemed - whether he wanted to or not, Alby realized he was falling asleep, starting to drift in and out of consciousness. "G'night, Scorp," he managed to murmur, starting to drop off without meaning to, but hoping that the other would forgive him for it. The thought that Scorpius would be right here, when he woke, exactly the same and reciprocating the feelings that had seemed to want to tear Alby apart, was enough to send him to sleep and ensure that he would have nothing but very pleasant dreams.
[OOC: Aaaand there goes Alby. :D; I suppose we can end here, if you'd like to finish it with one more tag? Sorry I haven't been around so much, Stacie is here visiting. ^^; We'll actually be gone tomorrow through Friday afternoon, so I probably won't have a lot of email access then, if any. But I'll be back in email contact Friday night and around for real after she leaves Saturday afternoon; we can think about a fight with James log then if we want to, or whatever else~ :D (And also Snogs stuff!)]
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Date: 2007-10-23 07:57 am (UTC)"Night, Alby," Scorpius murmured as Alby raised his head up a bit. He kissed Alby on the top of his head, and then Alby seemed to relax, his falling further onto Scorpius's shoulders, his breathing growing slow and regular.
Scorpius sank into his pillow, relaxing his shoulders, enjoying the weight Alby pressed against him, Alby's arm around his middle, and the smell of Alby's hair, if he just turned his head a little to the side. He thought of the morning, and how everything would be new and different when he'd wake up. He and Alby would maybe cuddle in bed until lunch, exploring aspects of each other they'd been too timid to in the past. Maybe they'd walk in the halls holding hands, or flop on the couch in the common room together, just enjoying the contact. The whole school would know in an instant, but if Alby didn't care, then Scorpius didn't care. Scorpius hadn't felt so excited in all his life, not even when he'd just climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express as a first year.
Sighing softly, Scorpius let his rest gently against Alby's, glad he didn't have to feel guilty about his dreams--he didn't have to wake up in the morning and feel like a terrible friend, or a coward anymore. Scorpius listened to Alby's breaths, feeling his boyfriend's shoulders rise and fall rhythmically. Slowly, with a smile on his face, Scorpius drifted off into sleep.
[OOC: And we can end it there! Alby is so adorable! Scorp loves him lots! ~<3 Yeah, I saw that Stacie was around. Say 'hi' to her for me! :D And have fun, wherever you're going! :D See you on Friday or Saturday! and yeah, we should we talk about a James log possibly growing from a morning after sort of beginning?]
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