[LOG] The Birds and the Bees

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Where: The Slytherin Dungeons
When: Late January to Early February, 2022 (Fifth Year)

It was quite a bit before the morning bell when Scorpius woke up, blinking his eyes in the darkness of his dormitory room. His left arm was numb from the shoulder down where Alby's head was nestled, and there was a little wet puddle forming in his pajamas just below Alby's open mouth. He gave Alby a gentle push and managed to ease his numb arm out from under his boyfriend, who smacked his lips and rolled over, taking a significant portion of blanket with him. Scorpius smiled and placed a small kiss on the back of Alby's shoulder before reaching under his pillow to retrieve his wand. He parted the curtains of his bed, squinting to see clearly as he dimly lit the rest of the room with a spell. He spotted his bag, which was sitting near the foot of the bed, where he'd dropped it the previous night. Scorpius wondered if he ought to get out of bed to retrieve the text he wanted to read--but the room was rather cold--or risk a spell. He decided on the latter.

"Accio book," Scorpius whispered, and his Muggle Studies studies text came flying at him. He caught it before it smashed him in the face, and propping himself up on his pillow, reached for his glasses, and began reading by wandlight.

It was at least another hour before the morning bell rang. He heard Alex and Joe stirring in their beds, groaning as they parted their curtains and stared off into space blearily. Closing the book in his lap, Scorpius gave Alby a gentle shove. "Alby," he said quietly, "the morning bell just rang."

Scorpius, already awake for a while, managed to get dressed first, and had already washed his face and brushed his teeth by the time the rest of his mates were shuffling around half dressed. Scorpius and Alby made their way up into the Great Hall after it was mostly filled with the bustle of the students' morning chatter. The Slytherin table quieted when they approached and took their usual seats with the fifth years. Since Alex and Joe had had their fight, their usual seats across from Scorpius and Alby had instead been filled by Ellimere and Saffron who dropped their forkfuls of pancakes to stare.

Scorpius sat down and was busy serving Alby some eggs when he noticed that the silence had stretched on unusually long.

"What?" he said, more irritably than he'd meant.

Ellimere and Saffron shared a significant look.

"What?" Scorpius said again.

Ellimere raised an eyebrow. "Is it true you and Alby are sleeping together already?"

Scorpius paused, remembering Alessandra and Rogir's words of warning the previous night. He glanced in Alby's direction quickly, hopefully not too significantly.

"Of course not," he scoffed, reaching under the table to put a hand on Alby's knee and give it a squeeze. "What gave you that idea?"

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Finally it seemed as though the worst might be beginning to pass; slowly over the course of the week, Alex and Joe had finally decided that they could stand each other's company again, even if things among the Slytherin fifth year boys were still a bit awkward. Alby would take awkward over downright miserable any day. Most of the rumors had died down as well, and while it was very hard to not sit too close to Scorpius during classes or meals, their strategy of attempting to remain discreet appeared to be working. Plus, they finally had a little time to steal away t othe Chamber of Snogs every once in a while, without prying eyes following their every move. That had been more relaxing than anything, and Alby was feeling pretty good as he and Scop headed there just now, in fact, under the pretense of studying that Alby had absolutely no intention of following through on once they arrived.

However, it didn't look as though they were going to arrive as soon as he would like. He stopped beside his boyfriend as Professor Blackwood's voice issued from inside his office just as they passed; the two boys backtracked and, sure to keep a reasonable distance apart, shuffled into the office. Alby wondered what this could be about - certainly they were serving their detetions satisfactorily, weren't they? But as he glanced at Scorpius as the two of them took seats, he saw the worry in the other's face and suddenly wondered...

Oh, no. What if all that talking had gotten to the professors? Alby bit his lip and tried not to look too guilty as a small, cold lump of worry formed in his stomach.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, during which Professor Blackwood looked across his desk at the two boys and the two boys looked back. Alby resisted the intense urge to fidget, and instead tried to read the professor's face. But it was nearly impossible; he didn't have to wait more than a moment for his answer, anyway, as Blackwood steepled his fingers and leaned over his desk, expression serious but open.

"It's come to my attention that the two of you have become romantically involved." There was a pause, and Alby wasn't sure whether they were expected to confirm or deny this statement, but before he could do either Professor Blackwood shifted in his seat, leaning back now, eyes still on the boys. "While I do not hold that fact in particular against you, you two must realize the implications of such a relationship. Girls and boys, after all, are required to sleep in separate dormitories for very important reasons." He sighed. "I'm afraid there isn't much precedent for how to deal with your situation, but I'm sure you must see that it must be dealt with somehow."

Alby felt like he was going to throw up. What did that mean? Did it mean they were going to be separated? He didn't want to be separated! Couldn't they just agree to be good or something?

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Scorpius took a seat in Professor Blackwood's office, an office he liked to think he never visited except by the rare necessity. He rather liked the Professor, even though both of them knew that Transfiguations was not one of his strong points. The Slytherin head of house was fair and amicable toward all of his students, and it was hard to deny that he had a soft spot for revelry given his habit of looking the other way whenever someone in the common room spontaneously declared a party. Nevertheless, Scorpius groaned inwardly when he realized that his professors had likely cottoned on to the fact that he and Alby weren't just best friends anymore. It was bad enough the entire student body knew--now his professors too?

Scorpius paled considerably when Professor Blackwood mentioned their sleeping arrangements. Oh Merlin, had that gotten out too? Scorpius had half a mind to march right back out the professor's office, find Joe, and give him a good throttle. He might have actually done so had it not been that right then, Professor Blackwood took his wand from his robes and shut the door behind them quietly. He gazed sternly first at Alby, and then at Scorpius. Scorpius didn't quite want to know how the professor was planning to 'deal' with the situation, but it wasn't as if he had much choice in the matter.

"It is my job as your head of house to warn you boys that any type of sexual activity amongst students is strictly forbidden in this school." He waited. Scorpius nodded slowly. "And I should also tell you that any students who are caught engaging in sexual activity face suspension, if not immediate expulsion from Hogwarts."

Scorpius swallowed, hoping that neither he nor Alby looked too much like rabbits being cornered by a fox. Scorpius nodded again. Well, he and Alby had technically not been caught doing anything. So they were safe...right?

"And it's also school policy for me to counsel any students who are in a relationship not to do anything while on school grounds." For a moment Professor Blackwood looked a little unhappy, but the expression passed and Scorpius wondered if he'd really seen it, or if he'd just imagined it after all.

"So what I'm about to tell you boys is completely off the record.

Scorpius blinked. He glanced at Alby. What?

Professor Blackwood opened a drawer in his desk, and passed two folded pieces of paper to the boys. Scorpius took one of them--it looked like some pamphlet of some sort--and gawked at it.

It's okay to be gay! The wizard's guide to preventing STMMs (Sexually Transmitted Magical Maladies)

Scorpius looked at his pamphlet dubiously, looked at Alby, and then turned his very confused gaze back to his professor.

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Alby wasn't exactly sure what was going on - off the record? - but didn't have much time to think about it as Professor Blackwood reached into a drawer and pulled out two pieces of folded paper, handing them over to the boys. Alby took one glance at the title - and then had to look again. What?

He glanced uncertainly at Scorp, goggling inwardly a bit at the brochure in his hand. His mouth opened, though nothing came out, and he looked back up at Professor Blackwood, completely confused.

The look on his face was just a bit bemused. "Now... off the record, of course, we can have a much more meaningful conversation. I'd like you two to seriously look at those pamphlets. They're important, even if they do seem a bit cheesy."

Alby was still goggling. "But you just said..."

Blackwood's smile turned a bit rueful. "Oh, I know, Mr. Potter. Sexual activities are indeed forbidden inside the school. But I am also not stupid. I know that simply forbidding the students from doing something does not mean they will actually comply. Especially," he added, glacing from one of them to the other, "when both parties involved are teenage males."

Alby swallowed. So... they weren't in trouble? And they weren't going to be in trouble? This was a little hard to fathom, and he didn't want to jump to any sorts of conclusions.

Then his eyes fell upon an illustrated article labeled Lubrication Made Luxurious! and he thought he might like to die, right about now.

"Therefore it is my duty," Professor Blackwood continued, "to ensure that when you do happen to engage in such activities, you are well-prepared for them and know how to be safe."

Alby blinked. Safe? How was it unsafe? It wasn't like either of them could get pregnant.

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Scorpius blinked, a blank and confused look on his face. Safe? He was reasonably certain that it was impossible for two sexually involved males to get pregnant. While Scorpius did not profess to be an expert on the subject--he had after all, only been exploring with Alby and hadn't gotten around to informing himself properly by reading any books--he opened his mouth to express his confidence that under no circumstances would either he or Alby become pregnant, so his good professor and head of house needn't concern himself about them in the future.

A period of silence followed his declaration as Professor Blackwood stared at Scorpius, slightly dumbfounded. Blackwood opened his mouth to say something, paused, then shut it. After a moment, he tried again.

"If you read the pamphlet, Mr. Malfoy, you will notice that pregnancy is not a magical malady, but that many other things are."

Feeling chagrined and a little out of his element, Scorpius took another look at the leaflet that Blackwood had handed him, forcing his eyes past the cheesy subtitle. One word in particular caught his eye. Penetration? He did his best not to make a face lest his head of house think he was not taking his safety, his boyfriend's safety, or sexually transmitted magical maladies seriously. Scorpius did not quite understand--penetration? There was no penetration involved when he and Alby...

"I suggest you read my handouts before speaking up next time," Professor Blackwood said, his voice laden with ill-concealed amusement as he sported a rather flat grin that twitched suspiciously on occasion. Scorpius flushed brightly, embarassed, and now more certain--despite his lack of book-knowledge--that he and Alby were never going to by accident produce any offspring.

"I would hate for one of you boys to end up with Wandering Genital Disease or Spanish Autonomous Nipple Syndrome."

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Scorp finally voiced the exact same thing Alby had been wondering about - neither of them was going to get pregnant, so what did they really have to worry about? But the look on their professor's face alone told Alby that apparently there was quite a lot to worry about, and he squirmed in his chair, glancing worriedly over at Scorpius as Professor Blackwood elaborated.

Alby stared without seeing at the pamphlet in his hands for a moment. He was very, very sure that he did not want to know what either Wandering Genital Disease or Spanish Autonomous Nipple Syndrome were. Or certainly anything related to them, either. Weren't you only supposed to catch diseases like that if you were with more than one person? They weren't with anyone else but each other, and they hadn't been before, either - Alby was pretty sure that he hadn't gotten anything questionable from kissing girls or he would've noticed by now. So they weren't going to get any of those horrible-sounding diseases... were they?

He began reading the first few paragraphs, which did indeed warn against multiple partners, and explained that protection meant the use of a number of spells designed to "eliminate the exchange of bodily fluids and pathogens" that could be used in conjunction with muggle devices called "condoms," though these did not appear to be useful in eliminating magically transmitted diseases, only ordinary biological ones.

The word penetration also seemed to pop up an awful lot; Alby frowned, skimming every paragraph he saw, wondering what that was supposed to me. There was nothing to penetrate with a guy, unless you counted mouths, he thought uncomfortably, feeling himself blush despite his fervent wishes not to. He was about to ask what it meant when he shut his mouth again - whatever it was, he'd rather find out about it on his own somehow, rather than ask Professor Blackwood.

"But if we follow all these guidelines here, we'll be okay, right?" he asked, hoping to get that cleared up and get them both out of there as quickly as possible. This meeting was not high on his list of things he wanted to drag out any longer than they had to last.

Professor Blackwood peered at him, obviously having taken note that Alby had at least begun looking at his pamphlet. "The pamphlet is a good starting point, but I want you boys to realize that there are a number of maladies, both magical and non-magical, that you must protect yourselves against. I do not want to learn that you have thrown those away the instant you leave my office." His gaze seemed to peer through Alby's head and straight into the back of his mind, as though searching to see if that's what he would indeed do.

Alby nodded. "We - we won't, sir."

"And I also want to ensure," Professor Blackwood went on, "that you boys know the meaning of the word 'discretion'. And that you take care to exercise it, especially in the presence of your house- and roommates." He eyed the both of them. "Have you actually asked how your roommates feel about you boys sharing a bed? Have you actually thought about the consequences of this simple action, whether anything comes of it or not?"

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Scorpius did his best not to flinch when Professor Blackwood mentioned two of the more common magical maladies listed on his pamphlet. They had short descriptions attached to them, and Scorpius did his best not to think too hard about how unpleasant they sounded. He flipped the pamphlet over where there was a list of a few protective spells, and a moving and rather illustrative picture depicting the proper way to a Muggle device it called a condom. Scorpius flushed brighter then he was already, and quickly averted his eyes.

"No, sir," Scorpius mumbled quietly when his head of house made it abundantly clear that he did not want his students throwing away the pamphlets. Scorpius wondered if he and Alby would be able to give them a quick read in the privacy of one of their beds before shoving them in the very depths of one of their drawers or trunks for the rest of eternity.

Scorpius swallowed the lump that had been growing in this throat when Professor Blackwood mentioned the latest rumors that he and Alby had been sharing a bed. So he did know. Scorpius felt like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him, and searched his brain for a such a spell, but found nothing. At least it wasn't his dad asking him such a question, though it seemed just as bad, Scorpius thought glumly.

"I didn't think it would be a big deal," Scorpius said quietly, deciding that he'd best be honest about the whole thing, given that Professor Blackwood knew already and would probably not take kindly to being lied to.

Blackwood stared at him across the table with a look that made him feel a little guilty that he hadn't really considered how his other two roommates, or even Zach, would feel when he and Alby started sharing each others beds.

"In hindsight, does it seem like it would have been a good idea?"

"Yes," Scorpius said, his gazed fixed on the professor's desk. He didn't really think it was a good idea to bring it up now that the dormitory room had just decided to let the whole ordeal of a few weeks ago blow over, but he decided not to bring that up.

"So are you two going to talk to your roommates about it--all of them, mind you, Joe, Alex, and Zach?" Professor Blackwood looked between Scorpius and Alby, waiting for confirmation. "Or would you rather I called all five of you into my office?"

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Alby bit his lip, feeling rather guilty at the last round of questions posed to them. He supposed they hadn't exactly asked for permission or anything of the sort from any of their roommates; they'd just assumed no one would care and that (apparently mistakenly) they'd keep it to themselves. But it had been rather poor planning and in no small part rude, he realized. Scorp's tone of voice said that he hadn't really realized either, and that he was feeling just as bad as Alby.

Alby's eyes went a little wide and he shook his head from side to side at their professor's last question. "No!" he said rather quickly, and then went on to make it sound less rude, "No, sir, we'll talk to them. We hadn't thought... We'll work it out." He would much rather deal with this in the privacy of their dorm, without the added embarrassment of having their head of house mediate a discussion on whether bed-sharing was acceptable or not. It was awful enough having this "discussion" with him about magical maladays and their sexual transmission. Alby didn't want to heap on any more embarrassment where none was needed.

At least now they and their roommates were all on speaking terms again. And while it still would be rather awkward talking to them about something like this, much less trying to come to some sort of decision or compromise if there were issues, it was preferable to having some sort of meeting in Professor Blackwood's office with all of them. That was sure to get them even less far, Alby was sure.

He shifted in his chair again, glancing up at Professor Blackwood and wondering if that was it. Were they free to go, yet? Alby was sure they'd been embarrassed more than enough for one - or many - evenings.

Professor Blackwood leaned forward over his desk once more, watching the two boys squirm uncomfortably. He sighed. "I want you to know," he said slowly, "that you must feel you can come to me if you have issues or questions about anything in these pamphlets," he indicated them with a sweep of his hand, "or anything else that might arise. I may be much older than you, but I was a teenaged boy once, and I won't have embarrassment keeping you from asking important questions that might keep you safe." He looked between the two of them. "This is a serious matter, and while I don't want to make more of it than needs be, I won't have you making light of it, either. Everything you do reflects on Slytherin House, and I want you to remember that."

[OOC: Is there anything else in particular we wanted to have him bring up? I was just kind of supposing he'd leave them to go through the pamphlets together, once he knew that they'd actually do it.]

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Scorpius shifted uncomfortably as Professor Blackwood admonished them to talk to their roommates about their situation. Along with Alby, he assured his head of house at the, ah, sleeping predicament, would be addressed amongst his friends.

Normally rather serene in chairs, Scorpius verily twitched with the desire to leap up and rush out of the room with Alby. The longer his professor went made reference to their illicit activities, the more embarrassed Scorpius felt and the more he wanted to leave. There was a less humiliating way to get the information he needed--and it was not ideally from a serious talk from his head of house. It wasn't that he wasn't taking the matter seriously--he was--he just didn't want to be hearing about, well, sex, from his Transfigurations professor.

Scorpius nodded vigorously when Professor Blackwood finished. "Thank you, professor," he said, and decided to emphasize that with a final and serious nod. "We'll read the pamphlets and make sure we're informed."

"Good," Blackwood said with a nod. "You boys should be old enough to know how to take care of yourselves. If the two of you have no questions, then you're dismissed."

Scorpius glanced at Alby, relief washing over his face. The two boys got up, thanking their professor again, and then left the office as quickly as possible without appearing too hasty about it.

They paused in the hallway to quickly hide their pamphlets before they bumped into any of their housemates. Scorpius looked at Alby, a wry twist to his lips.

"To the Chamber?" he asked, figuring the sooner they were someplace private, the better.

[OOC: That sounds good to me!

Is there anything else we wanted to write in fifth year besides Alby's conversation with Hawk and Scorpius's fruitless search for informative materials in the library?]

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Alby certainly had questions, but none that he wanted to ask Professor Blackwood. He'd much rather ask James what all this meant than Professor Blackwood, that was how little he really wanted to speak up. He sent a silent wave of thanks to Scorpius for sounding so mature and, well, final on the issue. He didn't think he'd have been able to sound like that, given the circumstances.

Finally their professor seemed to get the idea that they were done speaking for the time being. "If the two of you have no questions, then you're dismissed," he said, and Alby tried not to look too relieved as he slid off the chair and resisted the urge to bolt out of the room. Even Scorp seemed anxious to get out of there, and the two boys paused outside of Blackwood's office only long enough to make sure their pamphlets were safely stashed where no one could see them.

Alby nodded with relief as Scorp mentioned the Chamber. "Yes, please," he breathed, taking his boyfriend's hand and setting off down the corridor in the proper direction. He didn't know what most of the things in the pamphlet in his pocket meant, but he was quite sure that since he hadn't caught any of them yet, a little while of ignorance longer wasn't going to matter much. Though he was still curious about what it was going on about, with penetration and all. Was that important? Was he missing something big? He wondered, as he and Scorp came to the top of the stairs and made their way to the now-familiar portrait, if Scorp knew anything about it. Maybe he could enlighten Alby. But that didn't mean he had to be fully clothed to do it, did it?

[OOC: I... don't think so? I need to write down that conversation he and Hawk are going to have, I imagine it'll be... very amusing. XD Though I think Hawk will probably mostly explain it to Alby, and it'll take him a little while to get up the nerve to explain it to Scorp.]

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[OOC: I think this is a good spot to end! :D

I can't wait for Alby's conversation with Hawk, really. XD It's going to be hilarious. Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide whether or not Scorpius's parents send him any safe-sex type books for his birthday. ¬_¬ Maybe Ora can convince Draco to finally accept that his son is kinda gay and is going to be exploring with Alby who is RIGHT THERE in his dormitory room.]

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[OOC: Yeah, that's going to be pretty fun to write~ XD Ahaha, it would definitely be funny if Ora sent her son some literature on the subject, though. Such a helpful mother! ;D]

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[OOC: Oh, that is so happening. SO SO SO SO happening. D: Poor Scorp. He's going to go beet red when he opens the package and sees some of those titles. And hey, Ora's got to make sure her boy stays safe and knows what he's supposed to do. XD]

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[OOC: XD That would be fantastic~ Oh, poor Scorp. Ora's only trying to help! Mostly... Between the two of them and their adventures in sexual research, at least they seem they'll be relatively well-prepared for the eventual future? XD;]